Monday, February 01, 2010

AFV...

Last weekend was a nice little change in our travel arrangments - Lance took Taylor to Wenatchee for the PHAHA Select Camp and i took Brayden to Ellensburg for his swim meet. We left the girls at home with the grandmas. It was nice to have some one on one time with each boy but it also was good to be home. Every sunday night we DVR AFV (America's Funniest Videos) and watch it together as a family - its something that everyone can get enjoyment out of - although, i find myself cringing at most clips. And every Sunday we talk about what video we should send in. There's a video of Taylor that we still need to find of when he was a toddler pretending to be a Lutheran Pastor -too cute:) But there is also this video of Hayleigh - she was probably about 12 months old (home with us for only about 2-3 months) and we were at our Worldmark Condo at Coeur D Alene. They have these huge closets with mirrors on them - she discovers herself in the mirror - to cute - go ahead and watch:

Lance found the video last night and knew that Hayleigh would enjoy watching it over and over again as she loves watching her "gotcha" video over and over again too. He was right - after she was ready for school this morning, i told her that i had a surprise for her -she was so excited! I showed her the video and she watched it over and over again until it was time to go! Then it happened! Who knew that this "potential" AFV video would bring about "the where did i come from talk" As an adoptive mother, you are in prayer about his moment - hoping that the Lord is with you and giving you all of the "right" things to say and i felt his presence this morning. Nothing prepared me for this conversation - however, all through the whole adoption process it does come up during the homestudy as to how do you think you will respond and tell your daughter about how and why you've adopted her but even though you go through those scenarious - you aren't prepared - or at least you don't think you are... I've recently been wondering about Maylynn and how to bring back some of the foster mom pics into her life but that's another story... So... Hayleigh starts asking questions of when she was a baby and if she drank from my b..... or a bottle :) - and after she drank from a bottle then i would rock her etc... We then were in the car on the way to preschool and this conversation continues - H: "Did Taylor come from your tummy mom?" M: "yes - taylor came from my tummy." H: "did Brayden come from your tummy?" M: "yes - Brayden came from my tummy." Hayleigh then went on about asking what tummy her dad came from and her grandmas and grandpas... She then says H: "Did i come from your tummy?" M: "No -honey, you came from your China mommies tummy in China and then mommy and daddy brought you home." H: "Maylynn came from her china mommies tummy too?" M: "yes - she came from her china mommies tummy and then her china foster mom took care of her until we brought her home." H: "Why did my china mommy wrap me up in a blanket and hide me?" (Oh by - it was at this moment - that i realized that this was His timing for this talk- i still wonder how she remembers me mentioning this - although, we've always read stories "I love you like crazy cakes" and talk about this story and how it is similar to her story) as i'm driving trying to watch her reaction in the little rearview mirror -i'm wishing that i was holding her in my arms as we are talking about this... M: "well, hun - there are many chinese mommies that live in China that don't have the money to take care of their babies - so, many times they will have to give their baby to an orphanage to find another family that can take better care of them." H: "hmmm "- (it's quiet for a bit) H: "i want to go to china" M: "yes - we will go to china when you are older so you can see the country where you were born" H: "can we find my china mommy?" M: "no - sweetheart , we will not be able to find her - no one know who she is - only God knows. but we have some pictures of the nannies that took care of you until mommy and daddy could come and get you to bring you home." (it was quiet for a bit) H: "So, Taylor was born in your tummy and brayden was born in your tummy?" M: "Yes - Taylor and Brayden was born in mommies tummy" H: "I was born in my china mommies tummy?" M: "yes you were BUT YOU WERE BORN IN MY HEART!" - then i lost it:( Tears started welling up in my eyes and she starts asking why i'm crying etc... I just tell her that i love her so much and they are tears of love for her. She was then off to preschool... The conversation has continued during lunch and am so thankful that she is understanding is accepting her story. She thought it was very special when i told her at lunch time that Taylor and Brayden were born from my tummy and i had no choice in the matter but Mommy and Daddy got to chose her and how special that was - hopefully she will realize that she is special - God has used her in so many wonderful ways and we are so thankful her...

As a little side note - while she was in preschool, I went to my women's bible study and guess what passage was highlighted to the teacher today and was the focus of the talk: John 14:18 "I will not leave you orphans, I will come to you."

2 comments:

Mara said...

This is sooo precious Kirsten! You handled it beautifully! Thanks for sharing.

mommy to six J's said...

Hi KRISTEN SAW YOUR BLOG FROM BIGGEST LOOSER enjoyed stopping by have a Blessed day